March baking madness!!!

After about six months of not baking, I have been baking up a storm. (okay maybe not that much, but when you go from nothing to something it feels like a lot).

I have always enjoyed baking even though I would describe myself as just an occasional baker, but it was not until I started baking again this month that I discovered the healing nature of pouring, sifiting, mixing, creating something beatiful out of a mess. I didn't realize that I needed this type of creative healing, but I did.

In November, I had a miscarriage. After 11 weeks of pregnancy, we lost our little one. It was a devastating loss and still brings tears to my eyes. I spent much of November through February struggling through the grief process. Through the support of my wonderful husband, family, friends, (and of course my therapist), I can say that I have been able to start moving forward. A part of that process is getting back to the things that I love to do and finding small ways to participate in creating something (even if it is a simple loaf of bread).

So...here are some of the healing things I have baked in this month of healing as both the world and I spring back to life...

1. Banana bread...we have had bananas in the freezer for the longest time, so I finally put them to use with my mother's yummy recipe and my fancy new pan from Williams-Sonoma!

Banana Bread: 

3 ½ cup sifted flour 3 tsp. Baking powder 1 tsp. Salt 1 tsp. Baking soda 2 cups mashed bananas 2 tblsp. Lemon juice	¾ cups shortening 1 ½ cups sugar 3 eggs ¾ cup milk 1 tsp. Cinnamon 1 tsp. Nutmeg ½ nuts (if desired) - I don't put nuts in anything I bake because William and I both agree that such aggregates in sweet breads are gross (unless they are gooey raisins in cinnamon raisin bread)

Sift together flour, baking powder, salt, and baking soda. 

Combine banana and lemon juice.

Cream together shortening and sugar in bowl.  Add eggs and beat thoroughly until very light and fluffy.

Add dry ingredients alternately with milk; fold in bananas and nuts.  Beat after each addition.  Pour into 2 greased 8 ½ x 4 ½ x 2 ½ loaf pans.

Bake in 350* oven for 1 hour or until tested in the center and it comes out clean.  Cool in pans 10 minutes.  Remove from pans and cool until totally cool.  

Thanks Mom!!

2. Cupcake extravangaza...I helped to host a bridal shower and finally had a go at making cupcakes. I couldn't decide between the lemon and the chocolate, so I made both!

The chocolate recipe came from a Real Simple spread on baking and decorating cakes. I used a chocolate ganache frosting and topped with strawberries. The ganache is actually so much easier than it sounds; you just heat up cream (2 cups), drop in chopped dark chocolate (1 lb), add a pinch of salt, and stir until creamy (then let it sit for a few hours to thicken). There was even leftover ganache so Will and I had a little fruit and fondu party with it (so good!). 

The lemon recipe is a little more involved that the chocolate, probably because it came from Martha Stewart and I think she makes everything more complicated. The cupcakes turned out perfect, so I guess I should not complain. The key is that you make a lemony syrup and drizzle it over the cupcakes just after you take them out of the oven...so warm and gooey...mmmmmmm..... Also, the reviews said to use a different icing than Martha suggested, so I just turned a regular vanilla icing recipe into lemon by substituting the vanilla for fresh lemon juice.

Here are the recipes: 

Lemon cake: http://www.marthastewart.com/275613/lemon-cake-recipes/@center/276954/great-cake-recipes

Chocolate cake:

2 sticks unsalted butter (room temp)

3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa poweder

2 cups flour

1 tsp each of baking power, baking soda, and salt

1 1/2 cups sugar

2 tsp vanilla

3 large eggs (room temp)

1 1/2 cups whole milk (we didn't have any of this so I used half and half)

Heat oven to 350.

Mix dry ingredients (except sugar) together in a bowl and set aside.

With an electric mixer, beat butter and sugar until fluffy (medium high for a couple of minutes), beat in vanilla and then the eggs one at a time.

Reduce speed and beat in the flour mixture and the milk (alternating flour, milk, flour, milk, flour). 

Pour into cupcake pan (lined or greased) and bake for about 20 minutes. 

3. Bread baking class

So I did not actually bake the bread during this class, but I did learn some good tips for making delicious whole wheat sandwhich bread (sorry, Will and I gobbled it up before we took any pictures).

*Use lecithin. I always thought this was one of those dangerous additives, but you can get organic soy lecithin which isn't so bad. Plus, you only add a very small amount and it helps to keep the bread moist. 

*Use a 50/50 mix of water and milk (or butter milk). Again, this is not necessary, but it helps with texture and moistness. I had been using just water.

*Use wheat gluten. I know that lots of people have difficulty digesting gluten, so you don't have to add this, but it improves the rise and texture of the bread, and you only need about a teaspoon per loaf. 

The teacher also used butter, eggs, and honey (instead of sugar), all of which help with moisture and texture. I also learned that you need more moisture in the recipe if you are using 100% whole wheat. Most of my bread recipes have just been flour, salt, yeast, water, and olive oil, which explains that while the flavor has been good, the texture and moistness have not been stellar. 

My plan for April is to play around with this recipe and see if I can make it my own. I want to try making it vegan (but not telling Will) and see if it is just as good. 

After all of this, I have found that once again I am grateful for the simple act of baking, a small act that helps me feel more connected to others and to life.

Tortillas...mmmm.....

I don't know how many of you have ever had authentic, homemade tortillas, but you should go out of your way to try them.

I first had homemade tortillas on a church trip to Mexico, and then again on a church trip to San Marcos, Texas. In both instances, we were helping to build or repair houses, and in both instances, someone from the neighborhood took the time, energy, and resources to make us the best tortillas and refried beans I have ever had. It has been almost 14 years since I have tasted these tortillas, but the memories are fresh in my mind and still mouth-watering.

I eat a lot of tortillas...for lunches I like to make hummus and veggie wraps, or eat my tofurkey like a hotdog wrapped in a tortilla (I know it might sound gross, but will some pickles and dijon mustard it is awesome). However, I am always trying to find ways to eat more organic and less processed food. While I do buy the whole wheat versions of the processed tortillas from the grocery store, they are still processed. So, I was really excited when I found homemade tortillas of all different kinds and flavors (jalapeno, rosemary, beet, spinach, whole wheat) at the local, organic, farmers' market! I bought the jalapeno ones and they were so frickin' good. William enjoyed them as well...until he saw the price tag (about double what the grocery store version costs). He very quickly nixed my idea of buying these tortillas every week for my lunches. (I will probably still buy them, just not as often!)

All of this made me think...hey, why not try and make some of these tortillas myself. I found the following recipe on-line: http://123recipes.com/Recipe/Authentic-Mexican-Tortillas/Detail (okay...so I can't find the original link that I used, but this site had the same recipe)

I use whole wheat flour instead of all purpose and olive oil instead of shortening, and end up with...

They looked pretty good and didn't taste terrible, but were no where near the scrumptious taste I remembered. In fact, these were a little bit too bread-y. The good news is that it doesn't actually take too long to make them, and they can store in the fridge for a few days.

I am going to try again with a different recipe...I have found a few that used less oil that might be good. This link looks pretty good and has pictures for each step along the way...http://tastykitchen.com/blog/2012/03/homemade-tortillas/

The one thing to remember is that it is best to use a cast iron skillet for tortillas; it can get nice and hot and helps to make those fantastic little air bubbles in the tortillas.

Mmmmm...

Maw Maw's Chocolate Pie

I like to brag about how I have/had four grandmothers...all of whom are unique ladies with special talents and quirks...and their own special recipes.

Grandma Kintner is still kicking at 95, likes to walk to the post office, and eats candy for all three meals. She has the best laugh ever (I think my niece inherited it), and is the grandma that sends you cards for every holiday.

Grandma Fairchild passed away while I was in grad school, but she had spunk. My favorite memory of her includes her at age 71 joining my mom and I in an adventure of climbing fences, wading through a river, ending up in someone's horse pasture, and walking back to my aunt's house with bare feet and pants rolled up. She is also the originator of the Fairchild Apple Pie, the first thing I ever learned to bake.

Grandma Irma passed away a few months ago. She was a very kind soul, keeping track of family members, doting on my grandfather and all of the grandchildren and great-grandchildren surrounding them, and regularly visiting assisted living homes to play music. She also made the best sweet, garlic pickles ever.

Each of these women have been in my life since I was born, and have taught me about life and family in a variety of ways. They have all lived simply, but loved in great ways.

Maw Maw Stephens was only in my life for about 6 years, but I am grateful for those years. The mother of my step-mother, she embraced my sisters and I as grandchildren and had her own ways of showing us love. She kept a list of people to pray for each day and would regularly remind you that she was thinking of you. I loved that everytime she saw me, she would ask if I had lost weight or said I looked too skinny (which in my twisted head is a compliment). And at every family gathering, she would make her amazing chocolate pie.

I hadn't thought of the pie in a while, but was inspired to make one for a friend's birthday. Normally I make fruit pies, but William wanted something different. Then it hit me to make the amazing chocolate pie.

Now that I have made the pie, I have discovered that Maw Maw really did love us, because this pie takes more patience and attention than most pies, mainly because you have to stir the chocolate filling for about 20 minutes almost non-stop.

The famous recipe (shared with permission)...

Crust:
Make whatever pie crust you want, and bake it. (And by whatever pie crust, I mean a traditional flour and butter/crisco crust...you could try a graham cracker or cookie crust, but then it wouldn't be Maw Maw's pie)

Filling:
3 (1 oz) squares of dark baking chocolate (chopped)
2 1/2 cups of cold milk (the more milk fat the better)
Dissolve the chocolate into the milk overy very low heat

3 tbsp flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
4 egg yolks, beaten (keep the egg whites for the meringue)
2 tbsp butter (softened)
2 tsp vanilla
Combine the dry ingredients and add them to the beaten egg yolks. Then slowly add the milk mixture to the egg mixture, beating together each time until blended. Then stir for about 20 minutes on low-medium heat until, as I like to say, the filling is "puddin' thick". Take filling off the stove, and add butter and vanilla. Pour into pie crust, let cool a little, and then top with meringue

Meringue:
Use whatever recipe you want... I used one from the internet, but can't find the link...basically egg whites, cream of tartar, and sugar all mixed until fluffy in the amazing kitchen aid mixer.

Bake it all together at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes or until the top is golden brown. 

The finished product...

Enjoy!

Baking Failures

I recently read The Happiness Project and came across a simple idea, but one that I could stand to learn. It is how to find the fun in failure, or at least the bright side of it. As a perfectionist, I tend to beat myself up over even the smallest failures. However, I am learning to let go and realize that I cannot do everything or do it perfectly.

My baking failures of late are mostly due to good that are a little too dry. The blueberry coffee cake had too much wheat flour and not enough milk, and the jalapeno cornbread was cooked just a little too long.

Then my cookies that were either supposed to have cinnamon and clove or vanilla and dark chocolate chips, ended up with all of the above in them.

Everything was still edible, but definitely not high on the scrumdillyumptious scale. I guess the main thing is that I learned to be more careful about the moisture, and potentially thinking about reading the recipes before I try them. (I also have a tendency to just jump right in and see what happens!)

Oh...and my other failure was no pictures of anything!

So, here are some small failures that I can learn to accept...hoping that I can one day accept some of those bigger failures that come along. 

I have said this before....I am not crazy about writing. So I bake, but I tend not to blog about it. I think to myself sometimes about why I keep a blog, and why I let myself feel guilty about not posting. But, I like the idea of having a history of my baking exploration, something semi-tangible to show for how I tried something new, made something from scratch, and decided to step away from the TV to be more present in life. So for now, I guess I will keep up this pattern...baking every so often and posting less often. Sharing food and thoughts with family and friends....even if it is not as often as I would want it to be.

The latest baking experiments:

Peach and blueberry pie
Will found an article series on Slate, called "You're doing it wrong" that exposes not so great cooking and baking techniques. My curiosity was peaked when the topic was pie, as I believe that I have a pretty darn good talent at pie making. I liked what I saw in the article though, so I made it for a friend's 4th of July party. Note: I substituted local blueberries for the raspberries and stuck with my own recipe for the bottom crust. It was a hit.

 
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2012/07/03/peach_and_raspberry_pie_with_oat_streusel_topping_the_only_4th_of_july_dessert_recipe_you_need.html

Dark chocolate ganache cake
This one was a request from Will for his birthday party. It tasted much better than it looked. Also, I used the orange extract called for in the recipe, but I think I should have used orange zest instead. It was a little too "fake orange" for me. I doubled the recipe so it would fill the bundt pan.

Enjoy!

More baking....less posting

I am not completely sure why I decided to make a baking blog... (well, I do...but that's a longer story)... because I don't like to write. I have a private journal that I have for three years and still have at least a third of it left. I also have worked on any of the scholarly articles I want to get published. Meanwhile, my writer husband goes through 3 journals a year, and has already written 2 scholarly articles before this year is even halfway through.

So, for some reason, I thought I would be the kind of person who regularly baked and then wrote intriguing and funny and poignant posts about how baking is related to life. Yeah...that did not happen.

The good thing is that the people who are most likely reading this are people who know and love me already, and will forgive me this lack.

Here is what I have been baking lately (and not writing about)...

1. Cranberry scones and muffins (because it was the end of the semester and the 2 lb bag of cranberries in our freezer that needed used)

The little guy next to the yummy treats is Flat Stanley, a school project visiting from my adorable nephew Jesse....

2. Blueberry pie (because there were fresh local blueberries at the farm stand and the idea of blueberry pie with ice cream made my mouth water)

It was just as awesome as I imagined it!

3. Rhubarb muffins (because I love rhubarb after discovering it last year)

 The before and after. I had to make these twice, because Will was upset that I ate most of the first batch and he did not get enough of them.

I also made some strawberry rhubarb jam that is pretty darn good too!


And here are the recipes:

1. Cranberry scones - http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/cranberry-orange-scones-recipe/index.html (I didn't make the icing part because we were out of powdered sugar).

2. Blueberry pie - I used my own crust recipe (see apple pie post)... but this filling... http://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/blueberry_pie/

3. Rhubarb muffins - from the Simply in Season cookbook

2.5 cups of flour (I used half all-purpose and half whole wheat cake flour)
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
Mix together

1 cup buttermilk or plain yogurt (I used yogurt)
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup oil
1 egg
2 tsps vanilla
Mix together and the combine with dry ingredients until just moistened

1.5 cups diced rhubarb
(you can also add nuts if wanted, but neither Will nor I like nuts in baked goods)
Mix in and fill in greased muffin pan

1/4 cup sugar
1 tbsp melted butter
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp flour
Mix together and drizzle on top of muffins

Bake at 375 for about 20 minutes

So, that's it. I at least wrote something... tune back in a few months from now for an update!

A lull

I have been feeling a little uninspired lately, especially as I am finding that working from home may not be the most ideal work situation for me. I tend to get distracted (which is great for keeping a clean home, but not so great for staying focused on work), and I need more human interaction. And although working from home does make it easier to fit in baking, I just have not been as dedicated lately. That is not to say that I have not been baking (I have made banana bread, pizza dough, cranberry muffins, and a king cake within the past month), just that I have not been in the mood to take pictures or posted anything.

I know that life comes with more and less exciting times, as well as the more and less mundane times, but I have just been feeling a little more stuck in the less exciting/more mundane moments right now. I am working on changing my attitude to find the little joys in each day, and our recent trip to San Francisco to catch up with old friends definitely helped. It just sometimes it takes more work to find those moments. I guess that no matter what though, you have to keep moving forward, knowing that adventures will come again and life will still be a big mix of joys, sorrows, and everything in between.

On a side note.... Here is the king cake I made for Mardi Gras. There are no purple sprinkles in Florence, so I had to use blue. The recipe actually turned out pretty well, so thanks to Emeril!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/emeril-lagasse/king-cake-recipe/index.html